Okay, so this summer I've been back working in the kitchen of the golf course. This being my fourth season there, and not liking coooking in the first place, it has not been fun.
Needless to say, I've been entertaining myself by mentally making a list of all the stupid things people do. Perhaps in order to unleash them on some other poor, unsuspecting service worker in the future to provide me with years of enjoyment.
And now, in ongoing segments, I shall unveil THE LIST!
This first one is my absolute favourite - it always makes my day just that extra bit special, and almost makes ten-hour shifts worthwhile.
(Note: most of these apply to a restaurant that does not offer table service)
1. At a restaurant where the menu is posted somewhere near where you order: stare at the menu intently for about ten minutes. Proceed to order something that does not appear on the menu in the slightest. For example, at a burger/sandwich joint, ask for a steak, medium rare, with fries and gravy (we do not offer gravy).
2. Dress as a hippy: bring a small child and your dirty husband. Don't actually golf at the golf course, but place child on ordering counter where its feet get all over where food should go. Proceed to inquire/demand why there is no kids menu without thinking about the fact that it's a golf and country club and that children under the age of five do not tend to golf.
3. Bring whole freakin' family without golfing up for a monday afternoon lunch. Insist on table service. When cooks do not acknowledge your existence, wave a $100 dollar bill at food manager and ask again. Because pulling out your wad of cash in front of everyone the first time is not enough, pull it out again, make a big deal about pulling out another $100 bill, and remark "if that first one doesn't cover it all." After your lunch, and paying your $100 tab, leave a $5 tip.
On the subject of tipping...
4. If you're old, never tip. Or make a big deal about giving up a quarter.
5. After your server has kindly offered to package up all your beer cans in bags with ice - complimentary - do not tip.
6. At a place without table service, when you can see that the cook/server is tired, and perhaps is just starting her ninth hour without a break, get her attention when she's delivering someone else's food, and ask her to bring you a menu. Because you're "too tired to walk."
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3 comments:
You sure hit the nail on the hea dwith that one.....believe me, I know what you are talking about! I worked at a golf course where poeple could order while they were still on the course...with a radio! How crazy is that! Then they get mad when their food is cold....if you're not ready to eat...don't freakin' order it then!
You sure hit the nail on the head with that one.....believe me, I know what you are talking about! I worked at a golf course where poeple could order while they were still on the course...with a radio! How crazy is that! Then they get mad when their food is cold....if you're not ready to eat...don't freakin' order it then!
Course, as a cashier, you NEVER get tips.... And you get to explain the difference between pounds and kgs and learn to multiply by 2.2 like nobody's business.... Oh! And who knows the difference between a rutabaga and a purple-top turnip? ME, not you.
But, now, I get to battle bugs and stare at rocks all day. Whoot!
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